Monday, January 5, 2015

"Some People Just Can't Handle Vegas"

Vegas is all about pacing.  And moderation.  I practiced neither over the past 4 days.  As a result, it was a rough trip.  Sometimes I can handle Vegas.  Other times, Vegas handles me.  So now, I sit in my office, just trying to regain the will to live.  Next time, I'll do things differently.  I swear.

I left work around 2:00 Wednesday (New Years Eve) and drove out to Dulles in time for pre-flight libations before my 6:00 flight to Paradise.  The flight was rowdier than usual, and I was fairly well greased by the time we landed.  I made it to Signature by a little past 9:00; but, when I went to check in, the only room available was a handicap.  I hate handicap rooms.  Bad karma and all.  But, nothing could be done.  So I dropped my bags off and headed over to MGM to gambool.

The casino was utter madness.  People all over the place.  You could hardly navigate the floor.  And people were just hanging out near the machines, using them as drink-holders.  I couldn't even get on a video poker machine.  It was also nearly impossible to get a drink.  In short, Vegas on NYE just isn't my thing. 

I made my way over to the poker room, and found the King (Vegas Rob) holding court, as usual.  We chatted briefly, and I got to see Rob take down a small hand with a flopped pair of Jacks.  But I wasn't feeling poker.  In fact, I didn't play a single hand all trip.  So, it was off to monkey mash some 100 hand VP.  And have some cocktails.  By 2:00 am, I was fairly out of my mind.  And it was then that I realized I hadn't eaten since 1:00 east coast time.  So it was off to Nathan's before calling it a night.

The next morning, I was up early.  Like 6:30 am early.  Like 4 hours of restless sleep, early.  I can never sleep the first night or two in Vegas.  So, I went down to the lobby and put in a request for a room change.   Then I hopped a cab to the Westgate to cash my 2014 MLB Totals, and on to Bellagio to collect NFL futures.  In the end, I had so many hundreds, I could not close my wallet.  I scurried off down the strip towards the MGM, hoping not to get hit over the head . . . 

The problem with my overflowing wallet was short lived.  Around 10:00 am, I got my monkey mash on.  First, the 100 hand machine.  Torched a few bills.  Then, single hand double, double bonus.  Lit up a few more.  It was clearly time for a break.  Fortunately, the New Years Bowl Games started early, giving me another outlet to lose money.  I started with a bet on Baylor -3, which worked out brilliantly, until the Bears decided to blow a 20 point 4th quarter lead by, among other things, missing a field goal, getting a field goal blocked, and taking an offensive face mask personal foul penalty on a play that would have sealed the game.  

The Baylor debacle lead me to start drinking early. Yes, I'm blaming Art Briles.  Then, early afternoon (at least I think it was), I met up with Mr. Ben, who turned out to be a hell of a good guy.  We talked a bit before grabbing a few adult beverages at Tap.  Around 3 or 4, Ben took off to get ready for a concert at the Garden Arena.  I won't say who he went to see, but, it sounds like Rustin Cinderbrake . . . He blamed it on his wife; but I'm pretty sure it was all his idea.  In fact, I suspect the show was his primary purpose on making this particular trip to the States.  The "Suit n Tie" tattoo on his forearm was a dead giveaway.

So, now its early evening.  And, once again, I realize that I haven't eaten yet.  I decide to hold out a few more hours and then hit up Craftsteak for an early filet.  Prolly a mistake.  Because, by the time I hit dinner around half time of the Ohio State game, I am out of my mind.  This tweet, from about 2:00 PM, summed it up:

tonight has the makings of a day that spins out of control... I predict black jack at the ex cal at 4:00 am

The filet and two glasses of Cabernet at Craftsteak do not help.   And, afterwards, I followed through on my prediction of black jack at the Excalibur.  I bought in for $400, and, after playing for several hours, cashed out even.  3:30 am.  Down a solid $700.  Time to call it a night.

Next day.  Friday morning.  This tweet summed up my feelings:

          The Poker Barrister@PetePPeters Jan 2
If someone says "there's no such thing as too much fun," they are lying... Ugh

It was a painful start to Friday.  I bet two more bowl games, which, for the second straight day, I split.  I spent most of the day playing video poker.  The game was not kind.  I couldn't count the number of times I was dealt 3 of a Kind, only to whiff on the quads.  I was down a quick $800 when I decided to walk over to Mandalay Bay to watch the Oklahoma State game.  Fortunately, while there, I hit quad aces with a kicker for $500, and made back a bit of my losses. 

After a quick dinner at Public House at Luxor, and a few Guinness at Nine Fine Irishmen, I headed back over to the Excalibur to try and get lucky at the black jack pit.  I bought in for $400 and lost it all in 20 minutes.  Back in the hole for the day.  Down about $1,400 for the trip.  Solid.

Saturday was NFL Wildcard day.  The night before, I got a text from my buddy Zeen.  He wanted to me place a couple of bets for him - Arizona +5.5 and Pitt -3.  I told him I would oblige, but that I liked the opposite sides on both games.  So, Saturday morning, what do I do?  I play the UNDER 38 in the Carolina game, and follow it up with $250 on Pitt -3.  Sometimes, I just cant get out of my own way.  Oh; and I also lost another $600 or so on VP.

This tweet from early Saturday evening summed up my feelings:

The Poker Barrister@PetePPeters Jan 3
Fuck this town. I'm done. Time for a bottle of Cab and a filet at Michael Mina Strip Steak

So, I shut down the gambooling for the night; grabbed a steak and some wine, and ended up catching an Irish duo called the Black Donnelly's over at RiRa before calling it a night.

I awoke Sunday morning down about $2,400 . . . not counting the room, which was not comped (and, not cheap on NYE), or the several dinners at Craftsteak and Strip Steak, and the numerous glasses of Cabernet.  I briefly considered this:

The Poker Barrister@PetePPeters Jan 4
Time running out. Almost time for a $900 hand of Dealer's Angel

But, ultimately, I decided that would be dumb as fuck . . .

My flight was not until 4:30, which gave me some additional time to mash.  Fortunately, I ended up running a bit better (does Vegas purposely loosen up the machines on Sunday so that all the people about to flee town leave feeling better about themselves?), and made back $250 or so.  Ultimately, it was a rather non-descript trip.  No great stories . . . no great wins . . . too much booze . . . too much time spent hung over.  I finished a little over $2,000 in the hole.  But, on the positive side, I ended up with 78,000 MLIFE points.  And, I mean, isn't that what it's all about?


  1. Yes, that's exactly what Vegas does - you should only play the machines there on Sundays... ;)

  2. good to see the whales are still contributing to the local Vegas economy.

  3. WOW dranking guinness !!!!!!!! was this a new years resolution??

  4. This trip was The Revenge of Miller Lite.

    With all the cashish you pour thropugh the CET mchines back east, shouldn't you be getting comped rooms at Caesar's Palace or some other high-end CET property? A comped weekend at Cromwell?

    1. I can get comped at all the CET places except Caesars Palace and Cromwell, u see. I just prefer the MGM properties. . .

  5. In the end, I had so many hundreds, I could not close my wallet.

    Now that's what I'm talking about!

  6. Disappointed that we only had that five minute visit while I was playing poker on NY's Eve. Especially since I changed my plans and decided to stay in Vegas thru New Year's just so we could play poker together, u see.

    Man, if you can go an entire Vegas trip without playing poker, I think you need to change the name of your blog. It should be "The Video Poker Barrister."

  7. so will this turn into a TBC like blog with continual bad beat stories and the like? Please to be advising

  8. Can MLife points be converted to cigarettes you can resell or fuel that you can resell to truckers?

  9. Hey PPP. This is off topic, but may make a good topic for a new post: Do your employers know about your love of gambling? I ask because as a fellow lawyer, it can sometimes be ill-received when people learn about our extracurricular activities.

    1. They have a general sense that I frequent the casinos often. They don't know the extent; nor do they know that P3 exists or that he has a blog, obviously. When I was at a big firm, I kept fairly quiet about my activities. But there were a few associates and a young partner or two that I was friends with . . . played fantasy sports with . . . went to games with . . . and they knew.

      Now, at the new firm, the partners are all fairly young and good guys (on a personal level, at least . . . professionally, that can be another story at times), so I don't mind that they know . . .

      There are moments, however, like when bonuses came out last week, and I got the old "try not to blow this all at the roulette tables in Vegas . . ." that sort of piss me off. I mean, they spend a crap load sending their shitty kids to private schools so they can grow up to be assholes, and I don't say anything about that, right? Just kidding. Sort of. But not really.

  10. I'm sure I posted a reply to this, but maybe I got the banhammer, so I'll try again.

    Great to meet you, one more Blue Moon and I'm sure I would of joined you in some good ole button mashing. But Mr Timberlake waits for no man, so I had to dash. Thought you had missed that tatt and I was scott free, but alas I have now been outed.......as a laker ?
    Taking sexy back to the UK. Ben

    And craps is way more fun to blow your hard earned on., 9 and 8 sir, 9 and 8.