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Monday, April 18, 2016

[__Insert Clever Title__]

I'm too lazy to think of a good title for this post.  I'm barely motivated enough to even write this post. It's Monday.  I hate work.  It is what it is.  Let's just move on, OK?

So . . . I drove up to Harrah's Saturday to play some $1/2 and, basically, to just get away from D.C. for a day.   Nothing really memorable occurred.  I did have the pleasure of playing with a rather detestable, totally face-punchable, chick during my early evening session.  Her boyfriend sat down at the table first.  I was in the 4 seat; he sat in the 8.  He was a good player; somewhat friendly on the surface, but kind of a douche just a tad bit deeper.  His girlfriend on the other hand; what a treat. 

At some point, the 2 and 3 seats opened.  Guy immediately claims the 3, and then calls his girl over from another table to grab the 2.  She sits down.  She kind of pretty  . . . at least from a distance.... I mean, she'd be a god damn star at a mens' prison; and she was kind of "hot" for a girl in a poker room.  But, when you really looked at her, she was just sorta "meh" in a chick-from-Long-Island kinda way.  But I digress.  Girl sits in the 2 and immediately starts loudly joking / complaining about her guy having position on her again.  They debate back and forth whether he should, in fairness, switch seats.  FUCK.  These guys must be really good players.  They know about the importance of position in poker; and they want to make sure everyone else at the table hears about it.  Scratching the surface, guy's inner douche starts to become visable . . .

Girl sits down with $100 in chips and immediately starts playing on-line on her Ipad too.  [Yo]u see, when you are THIS good at dem pokerz, one game at a time is never enough.  And, girl lets everyone know, making unnecessarily loud proclamations to Below-the-Surface-Douche (hereinafter, "BTSD"), like: "Hon; LOOK WHAT I JUST DID TO THIS GUY!!!" as she shows him the screen.  And BTSD would respond with things, like, "wow - that's like what you did to that guy at Borgata the other night!"  

Girl then proclaims, again, loudly, of course (because, if the entire table didn't hear it, was anything really spoken?); "I've played with pretty much everyone here . . . except THAT guy" (pointing to PPP).  Um.  Wow.  This chick must be a seasoned pro.  Glad I have position on her!  

BTSD and girl then start discussing how much it sucks that no $2/5 game is running.  BTSD repeatedly says things like: "Come on, guys, lets get PLO going . . ." and, when he raises pre-flop and gets no action, "Come on, guys, let's play some poker here!!!"  So glad I drove up to AC for a relaxing weekend of poker.  I almost ask for a table change.  Not because they are too tough to play against (I actually took some chips off the dude by being patient and waiting to trap); but because they were annoying as fuck. 

But, then a funny thing happened.... girl started playing poker; and it was hilarious.  First hand she played she limp-called $20 and got heads up to the flop.  She checked dark, and called a flop bet.  She checked dark again, and called a sizable turn bet.  By the river, she only had $25 left.  Dude bet the river; she stared him down; and folded.  Interesting.

Girl rebuys.  And basically repeats the same exact hand; only this time, she does not check dark.  She just checks.  In other words, she limp calls a big pre-flop raise, check calls flop, check calls turn, and fold river with about $25 chips left.  So pro.  Interesting note: she was up against guy in 9 seat (across the table).  On the river, guy (nice enough kid) asks her: "how much do you have left?"  She just stares at him.  Which is fine, of course.  Kid is straining to see across the table and asks again.  This time, girls says, "what the hell, man; I'm not hiding my frigg'n chips; they're right here!"  Kid says, somewhat sheepishly, "sorry, I just could not tell if you had greens."  She didn't.  Kid then says, "I put you all in."  Now, at this point, both girl and BTSD race each other to be the first to point out to everyone that "this is not a bet."  Ok.  Fair point.  But, it was the condescending way in which the point was made that struck me wrong (and I'm not even in the hand).  They repeated it two or three times, and openly laughed at him.  I mean, what a FOOL!!! Guy improperly verbalized his bet . . . at a $1/2 table . . . on a Saturday!  Sooooo OMG!!!!  Anyway, when all was said and down, kid simply moved in a stack of $50 which, of course, had the effect of putting girl all-in, and she promptly folded . . . not wanting to stick her last $25 into the $175 or so pot.     

Girl rebuys.  This time, she limp calls $25 preflop against the poor kid from the last hand....  Flop is all low card . . . like, 9 high.  She checks, he bets, she calls.  Turn is a 2.  She checks, he bets, she call.  Have we seen this before?  River is a 6.  She checks, he bets, she calls.  Kid shows TT . . . and girl proudly slams down 62 for the runner, runner two pair.  And then, she and BTSD laugh and laugh and laugh.  Now, I was not paying 100% attention, and I'd like to think she had some sort of str8 draw two and was not floating flop with 6 high, and calling on the turn with a pair of two's, and waiting to suck out with two pair on the river.  But, the way this pro played, who knows . . .

At this point, I hate them both and get up to take a walk.  It's almost filet and cabernet time, so no sense seeking a table change. 

I come back 10 minutes later, and girl and BTSD are both gone.  I didn't care enough to ask what happened.  I assume she got stacked, pouted, and stormed off, prolly commenting on the way out about how she can't play $1/2 with people who SUUUUCK at poker . . .
      

16 comments:

  1. Awesome! Fun times at Harrahs! Will you make Diamond this year?

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    1. Not sure. This was my first time at a Caesars casino this year. Played some VP in the morning and grinded up 3,000 tier points (after bonuses). Not sure how much I'll be playing at Caesars this year; and not sure I want to start going back to the Shoe just for the tier credits.

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  2. Was her name Zoey'? Where's the picture

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    1. My magic 8 ball sez her name is: Consquelo

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    2. Ummm ... you aren't hiding anything, are you? Was it brittni?

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  3. That sounds like so much fun, I bet you're gonna do it again next weekend.

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  4. Um, where are the important parts of the story like the ethnicities/melanin percentages of the couple?

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    1. Nah....the really important detail left unanswered....how big were the girl's tits?

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    2. Reminds me of an old joke...

      What do you say to a woman with no head, no arms and no legs?

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  5. Pretty much sums up why I have little interest in traveling to AC now that there are poker options in WV and MD. Asshole ratio is much higher in AC. I value my enjoyable time > the extra $EV opportunity of AC

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  6. Going to AC on Sunday for 4 nights. We're staying at Caesars. Have you tried Bally's poker room? Curious what your thoughts were about it.

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    1. Hey Cranky. I've played in Bally's room a handful of times. Not a huge fan of the set up. It's totally out of the way and isolated from the rest of the casino. And it's a HUGE area - cavernous. They typically play cash in a separate room (use to be the old VP parlor at wild west) and then, outside of that room, there's a huge area for tournaments. There are worse rooms, of course. But I just don't like the vibe.

      Frankly, my favorite AC room (at least in weekend nights) is Harrah's. But, you can't go wrong at Borgata. And, if you're there during the week, Borgata may be our best bet.

      Have fun and good luck!

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    2. Thanks PPP for the info. I'm disappointed to hear that Bally's room isn't the best since it's so convenient to Caesar's. If it's a real downer, I'll check out one of the others.

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