Saturday, May 28, 2016

Anyone Seen My Last Fuck?

It was Monday night that I gave my last fuck.  For the time being, at least.  After spending yet another weekend working, Monday turned into a marathon 16 hour work-day which ended in me getting ripped apart for some one else's error.  Also, I was scheduled for blood work at 8:30 Tuesday morning, and had to fast 12 hours.  As I did not leave the office until 11:30 pm, I ended up not eating dinner.  As I left the office, I no longer gave a fuck . . .

Tuesday, I got to work and pulled the trigger on a last minute flight to Fort Lauderdale and used some points on a suite at the Hilton.  My plan was to bail on work Friday for  a 9:30 flight out of BWI for a workless weekend.

Thursday evening, my plan got off to a rocky start.  I walked around the block for sushi at 8:30 and, while I waited at the bar for my order, found myself answering west coast work emails.  Ok.  No big deal.  Sunshine awaited.  

A awoke at 5:30 Friday and made the 45 minute drive north to BWI.  Lines were brutal, but I was at the gate in plenty of time.  Turns out, Memorial Day Weekend is some sort of "Urban Beach Weekend" in South Beach.  The gate area for the flight to Fort Lauderdale (30 miles or so north of SoBe) was . . . um . . . interesting.   There was, apparently, a large contingency of "gentlemen" and "ladies" flying from Baltimore into FLL and then Ubering south for the weekend.  I shall simply say that it was energetic; and that excitement was in the air.   I had "A Boarding" for Southwest and, while I normally sit near the back of the plane so that I can accommodate my old man enlarged prostate, as I surveyed the scene, I decided to sit in the closest available aisle seat to the front of the plane.  Good choice.  The Urban Beach Weekend crowd filled the back 1/4 of the plan.  And, nearly from take off, what I would describe as a rap battle ensued.  I've been on many flights.   I've been on many drunken late evening flights to Vegas.   I've never encountered this before.  The flight was filled with families with young kids jetting off for a relaxing holiday weekend in the sun.  I felt bad for what they were forced to endure, and can only imagine the questions that may have been asked, and the answers given.  Suffice it to say that, after 2:00 full hours of rapping and yelling, as we touched down, the back of the plane erupted into a screaming chant of "turn it up, n*gga . . . turn it up, n*gga . . ."  Perhaps there's a time and place; a crowded plane full of families heading to Florida on an early morning flight likely was not it.  Anyway . . . I was happy that I decided on Fort Lauderdale over SoBe for the weekend.

I got to the Hilton around 1:00 and was able to check in.  Diamond status got me free breakfast, free coffee in the morning, and two free adult libations a day at the bar.  Not bad.  As the sun was out, and I was excepting work to blow up before the long weekend, I immediately hit the beach while a window of freedom existed.  It was windy, and the water sort of sucked. Not the typical clear water South Florida is known for. I got an hour of sun in before my email blew up with a few work-related issues that need to be handled.  I headed up to the room for a bit to work.  Apparently, the fuck I gave Monday night not was indeed not my last.  After two hours of work, I went out for a quick run along the strip, before handling a few more work items.  Then I broke open the mini bar for a few cold beers on the balcony before heading off to find a reputable filet.

Exhausted, I ended up going to bed at 8:00.

I woke up this morning to thunder storms.  Forecast is for rain most of the day.  Current plan is to work the afternoon (I've got some discovery responses I need to get drafted), then head out for some libations and maybe place a degenerate bet on the Western Conference Game tonight. I can use a break from the sun, as I got a bit, um, burnt to fuck yesterday in the hour I spent at the beach.  Hopefully, tomorrow the sun will be back out and a day at the pool will be in order.

Lastly, I'm considering one last flip-flop on my vacation plans for the week of June 3rd.... I'm strongly considering Vegas again.  Need to make my mind up by Tuesday.   


  1. For the week of June 3 I hear the action's good in Louisiana. Got dem good machines.

  2. And maybe you can confer with your client if he's still there.

  3. Ah you did not mean your last "lay". You actually meant your last "fuck" as in "giving a shit". Glad you clarified this. Maybe you should have a drunken hook up with your last fuck. It may make you feel better for about 30 seconds?

  4. i'm not sure why diamond status would get u something in the hilton, did harrahs buy them out? i havent seen ur last fuck but u might wish to videotape it so Rob can include it on his next blog.

  5. truthfully im extremely worried, and wish to write a blog post ill regret. lowest money ive had in 2 yrs, no housing yet, and medical care much more urgent now than it was then so im way too stressed out to make good decisions. i thought it would be impossible to ever get this low again once i passed 20k

    1. Nobody cares Tony - you are a moron who will never figure it out.

      Go complain about the same nonsense over and over on your own blog. Complain but do nothing to change it.

  6. fucking COORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come on counselor what about Fat Tire at least

  7. i thought it would be impossible to ever get this low again once i passed 20k